someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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