I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
