There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
