apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
worst night to have a conscience
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
