xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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