...so i touched it.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
