you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
