I'm drive I can fine osifer
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
