Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I need to align my fucking chakras
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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