Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
