oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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