Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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