He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
