I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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