I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
