just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
