I wanna bring you to show and tell
I want to make a zoo with you.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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