Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Redeem this text for a blowjob
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
