I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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