I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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