How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The feeling are messing with the penis
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
