take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
