If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
