first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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