So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The beer is more important than you right now.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
