its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize