what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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