I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
