my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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