Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
