the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Randomize
