Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
