hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
