NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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