Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
