i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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