You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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