If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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