Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
