I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
