Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
