she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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