hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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