i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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