Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
