idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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