Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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