And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
