Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
