I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize