careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
