She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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