Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
