My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
