Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
