i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
